If you see him
by Corporal Levi
Summary: "Tell him that I'm alright! The best thing he did was leaving me...Look, it's been two years and I haven't even noticed!" 8018, slight 8059.


**Warnings: OOC, Unbeta'd.**

**Author's Notes: Here I am with more angst XD I actually wrote this one a long time ago, but my computer got everything erased and I had to re-write it. I like the old one better =_=**

**Disclaimer: It's a sad fact, but I don't own KHR!**

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**The sound of a creaking door was heard in a dark, dry room in which a musty smell was common. Sawada Tsunayoshi and Gokudera Hayato came to visit the house of their friend who apparently was in there for days doing nothing more than engage in survival with little enthusiasm. They glanced over and noticed that everything was the same as it had been last week when they came to visit.

The silver-haired man took three steps to open the curtain of the room to let in some light, crossed his arms and stayed looking outside the window, where the pretty view of Namimori was tainted by the glass's dirtiness. Tsuna smiled slightly at that. At first Gokudera was very reluctant about coming to see their friend; he didn't wanted to see the baseball-freak destroying even more his life, but in the end he came, which showed just how much he cared for him. The smile was replaced by a sigh when he saw the scruffy face of said friend, who apparently had not been taking showers and changing clothes regularly. Haru would have a heart-attack if she saw all of this, and maybe come back to life and kill them instead. Tsuna laughed a little at the thought before he frowned, smelling something unusual in the musty air. His friend had been drinking again, he was sure of it.

"You can't go on like this forever," He told the mass of black hair that was lying on the floor and leaning on the couch. The view itself was depressing; he remembered that man not only as the second strongest one of the Guardians, but mainly because he was always the happiest, most cheerful and positive of them all…someone who loved his life and had dreams and hopes. That was the Yamamoto Takeshi he knew, someone full of life. His mocha brown eyes exchanged a brief glance with the other's chestnut ones.

"Of course not, one day I'll have to die, right?" He laughed sourly as he stood up to meet Tsuna's gaze bitterly.

"Come on, Yamamoto, everything will be fine! It's just a matter of time," Tsuna replied with a reassuring voice while he started to pick up the trash in the table located in middle of the apartment. It was a small place, but the Vongola's Tenth boss remembered it as cozy. There was no trace of that place now, though. It was always dark. He remembered very well the times when he came over Yamamoto was always the one cleaning it; the place where not too long ago two of his friends used to be living happily in, that is.

"There's no need to lie, Tsuna. He left me, exchanged my happiness for his, for a real family…" The swordsman could only feel how those words were eating his soul, though he struggled to maintain a smile. Whoever said love hurts were right. It wasn't a fleeting feeling; it was a real pain in his chest that has been stuck in there unable to leave. It was way more painful than any physical injures he had obtained in all his years as a hitman.

Tsuna looked at him in concern. Now that he had already got to see Yamamoto, it was time to play the second part of their visit. Two days ago the Vongola HQ were under attack and all the Tenth Guardians were present. All except for the Rain one. When everything was settled and Hibari turned to leave, he hesitated for a moment, looked around once more as if to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him, and said something about a herbivore missing before leaving. It only looked as a casual observation, but Hibari had asked for Yamamoto in his own, strange way. He was worried, Tsuna just knew it.

"He still cares about you…" He saw Yamamoto's eyes water slightly before he closed them. Perhaps he shouldn't be so direct…

The Tenth heard his friend's shaky laugh.

"If he cared he wouldn't have left, dummy! He shouldn't worry now," Yamamoto's voice cracked and he sighed, scratching his neck with a fake smile. "Tell him I'm fine."

"But…" Tsuna tried to say, but his words were cut. He could only watch hopelessly as his friend interrupted him.

"Tell him I'm alright! The best thing he did was leaving me…look, it's been two years and I haven't even noticed!" He started off raising his voice, but finished with a broken whisper. Yes, it has been two years since the skylark had left him, made plans to marry a woman –whose wedding he did not miss–, and finally had a child… A lot of good things have been happening to the delight of him, the steel-blue eyed man he fell in love with blindly, who he had given his body, life and soul to…

"Two years that have been very hard for you, and I'm sure it's been the same for him," It may be his Hyper Intuition, but Tsuna was sure Hibari had a good reason for leaving his friend, whatever it was. They were, after all, really in love; anyone could see the way the prefect's eyes lit up slightly when the baseball-lover would appear, or the way his cheeks would take a very pale pink color when said man would touch him in any way. It didn't take a genius to notice how much they cared for each other.

"Just tell him that I already forgot about him." He didn't sound very convinced himself, but tried to cover it up with a shrug.

"He's your friend too," Tsuna said, noting the muffled anger that he still felt. It wasn't only that Hibari had left; it was the deception, the betrayal. He had felt used when he had given everything.

"Tell him that it doesn't matter anymore, that I'm feeling well and after all of this I'll thank him. After all, I no longer have someone who distracts me from watching baseball games on TV, someone who tells me what to do all the time, someone who always stayed by my side, in my house and my bed…He's not here anymore, why should it matter?" At those words he could not take it anymore and a tear finally escaped his tortured-looking eyes to run down his cheek and fall to the floor.

"Yamamoto, you are not okay, don't fool yourself," The Tenth felt the urge to reassure his friend by saying everything would be fine, that Hibari somehow would come back, but even he wasn't sure it would help, let alone happen.

"Tsuna, just tell him that I'm fine. Look, I've never been better!" He stood up and stretched his arms, showing himself off to his friend…and then collapsed; he felt his legs weaken.

"Yamamoto…" Tsuna heard some shuffling and a curse behind him, and he turned around to see an angry-looking Gokudera approaching the swordsman.

He had been expecting his right-hand man to shout at their friend and maybe even hit him, but was mildly surprised and shocked when he instead kneeled in front of Yamamoto and hugged him.

The tallest of them all froze for a moment, trying to take in what just happened, before hugging him back and broke in sobs.

"You know what?" Yamamoto said hoarsely. "If you see him, just tell him that you don't see me anymore."

Tsuna stared at his best friends and nodded numbly, even though he knew neither could see. He wanted to do something to comfort him, but as he watched Gokudera embracing Yamamoto almost lovingly, he decided that there was nothing more he could possibly do right now. Smiling sadly, he left the apartment, hoping that everything really would turn out alright.

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**And it's over. Had no idea how to finish it, really. Funny how I don't even like 8059 yet I put that in the end…Oh well.**

**Next fic will be actual 8018 fluff, I promise D:**

**Review, please! :D**


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